Canon's Diary
Action without thought is empty; thought without action is blind – Goethe
While living with schizophrenia, I move between Tokyo and Osaka. Through this journal, I hope to quietly share moments from my daily life—and memories from the journey I’ve taken with my illness.
Category: death
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June 2nd, Monday.I woke up at 6 a.m. As usual, I opened the curtains and looked outside. From my east-facing window, I could see the morning sun clearly. Although there were some clouds, the sunlight was dazzling.In the photo I posted, the large white building in the center is the Takatsuki City Koteragaike Library, which…
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Monday, May 26th.The sky is overcast again today. After breakfast, I filled my thermos with coffee and headed to work. It felt a little chilly for this season. I crossed the railroad tracks and made my way through the shopping street toward Settsu-Tonda Station. I left home around 7:30, and at that hour, the streets…
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Sunday, May 25. The sky was a little overcast, and perhaps because I hadn’t slept well the night before, my mind felt a bit foggy. After breakfast, I spent the entire morning cleaning my room. I finished cutting the floor mats I had left half-done, shaping them to fit the room. I carefully placed a…
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Saturday, May 24. I left my family home in Tokyo and boarded a bullet train bound for Osaka. Nozomi No. 391, departing Shin-Yokohama at 2:29 p.m., arrived about five minutes late. Feeling drained, I closed my eyes and sat still. I could hear the train slicing through the wind. The subtle vibrations pulsed through my…
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Friday, May 23rd. Overcast skies. I dropped the documents for changing the names on the gas, electricity, and water utilities, as well as the bank account for automatic withdrawals, into the mailbox. I’m working remotely from Tokyo again today, but work has settled down for now. It was on May 11th that I received the…
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I woke up at four in the morning. A dim light was seeping through the gap in the curtains. Birds had begun their morning song.I sat down in the reclining chair and had a glass of whisky. I had been tense all day yesterday. Though I should have been exhausted, I couldn’t sleep well.Feeling a…
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Sunday, May 18. I woke at 6 a.m. Today is my father’s funeral.I had stayed up late last night sorting through documents for name changes and inheritance procedures. I still felt the weight of fatigue. As we drove to the funeral home, I looked out at the zelkova trees lining the road. Their fresh green…
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Saturday, May 17th.It had been raining since the morning. I woke up past nine.When I went downstairs to the living room, my sister was showing our mother videos of her children taken at her house. My mother and sister appeared in the footage too. There were also clips from their visits to our home, including…
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Last night, I had dinner with a judicial scrivener and was able to discuss some technical matters. After that conversation, I’ve decided to move forward with transferring the ownership of the house to my mother. We’ll separate our household registration into two: my mother as a single household, and my wife and I as another.…
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Last night, I took a long soak in the bath and turned off the lights at 11 p.m. before going to bed. I must have fallen into a deep sleep, because when I awoke, it was already 9 in the morning. For the past few days, I had been living with a persistent sense of…
Canon's Diary 