Canon's Diary

Action without thought is empty; thought without action is blind – Goethe

While living with schizophrenia, I move between Tokyo and Osaka. Through this journal, I hope to quietly share moments from my daily life—and memories from the journey I’ve taken with my illness.

Saturday, June 7. I woke up at 8 a.m. to the clattering sound of a power shovel loading debris onto a truck and the grinding noise of someone shaving down a concrete wall with what seemed like a grinder, rebar and all. Not the most pleasant way to wake up. I was still tired from yesterday’s lesson and wanted to sleep a bit more, but the noise from nearby construction forced me out of bed.

I was starving but didn’t feel like cooking, so I went to the convenience store and got a rice ball, a pasta salad, and a bottle of green tea. About 600 kcal in total. Not bad for calorie and nutritional balance. It’s certainly convenient, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m losing something essential. Like I’m neglecting the dignity of eating… or maybe not. Still, it’s not cost-effective. Probably better not to rely on convenience store meals too much.

Unable to sit still because of the noise outside, I started doing laundry and cleaning. I also needed to buy pork and rice from the supermarket. I had some cabbage and carrots left, so I thought about making soba for lunch—but I just had soba yesterday. Let’s go with ramen today.

I headed out to the supermarket. I wonder how many times I’ve crossed this railroad crossing. Once, I used to see crossings as symbolic milestones in life, something almost sacred. But when you cross them this often, that special feeling wears off.

The supermarket sits quietly down a small alley just past the tracks and a right turn. It’s a bit small. Rice was still expensive, as always. But I needed it, so I reluctantly bought a 5kg bag. “How am I even supposed to store all this?” I grumbled. I picked pork slices for ginger pork. Also grabbed mirin and sugar. Back home, I started prepping ramen.

Boiled water, tossed in the carrots first since they take the longest to cook, then added chopped cabbage. After about 5 minutes, once the carrots softened, I threw in the dried noodles and pork. Boiled for another 3 minutes, checked the noodle texture, mixed in the soup base, and finished with a raw egg and chopped green onions on top. So simple. Seems like I tend to rely on cabbage, carrots, pork, and green onions. But hey, I’m still a beginner at cooking. Maybe this is just my style for now. I’ll probably be living alone for a while longer, so I’ll gradually try more things.

During lunch, the outside suddenly went quiet. Looks like the construction workers were on their break too. My ears felt relief in the silence. But that peace didn’t last long. They resumed work after lunch, and my room was once again engulfed in thunderous noise. I couldn’t stand it anymore and decided to go out. “Yeah, let’s go to Takatsuki today.” I also needed more shirts for work and some kind of container for all the growing number of condiments.

I changed into jeans, threw on a jacket, and went out. Takatsuki Station is the next stop after Tonda on both the Hankyu and JR lines. My destination was the Hankyu Department Store, which is closer to JR Takatsuki Station, but I chose to take the Hankyu line to Takatsuki-shi Station and walk to JR Takatsuki instead. The sky was overcast, but it was humid. I soon took off my jacket and walked in just a white T-shirt. The rising temperature hinted at the beginning of the rainy season.

On a Saturday afternoon, the Hankyu line is flooded with express trains. I think I waited about 10 minutes for a local train. After getting off at Hankyu Takatsuki-shi Station, I exited from the north gate and headed toward Takatsuki Station, passing through the downtown shopping streets. I’d visited this area even before moving here, and it still felt like a place packed with izakayas, restaurants, and drugstores. Quite a few karaoke joints too—not that it matters to me since I’m terrible at singing.

I arrived at Takatsuki Station, rode the escalator up to the north side, which is livelier with large stores and department buildings. I went into the Hankyu Department Store and bought two work shirts at UNIQLO. On the way back, I dropped by Loft and ABC Mart but didn’t find anything in particular, so I returned home via the JR Kyoto Line and Settsu-Tonda Station. All in all, it was a nice walk. My step counter logged about 4,000 steps.

For dinner, I planned to make ginger pork. Started with the sauce—soy sauce, mirin, sake, sugar, and a bit of grated ginger. Tasted it. Then I cut the pork into manageable pieces and fried it in a pan with olive oil. Once it was cooked through, I added the sauce and coated the meat. Served it with shredded cabbage and tomato. The flavor was decent. The tang of the ginger paired nicely with the mellow sweetness of the sugar.Adding a bit of flour might have been a good idea too.Still, I noticed that the pork slices labeled “for ginger pork” these days come with a ready-made sauce. That would’ve made it easier. Not sure why I didn’t use it. Maybe I’ll try it next time.

Tonight, I’m heading out for tennis lessons again. I’ve been keeping up a steady workout routine, and my body feels good. If I can just sharpen my technique a bit more, that’d be even better.

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