Canon's Diary

Action without thought is empty; thought without action is blind – Goethe

While living with schizophrenia, I move between Tokyo and Osaka. Through this journal, I hope to quietly share moments from my daily life—and memories from the journey I’ve taken with my illness.

Monday, June 23. It was a sunny day, but once again, the wind was strong.
Since I work from home, I slept in until 7:30, even though my official workday starts at 8.
The weekend tennis had worn me out, so I decided to have two slices of toast to replenish some energy.
My wife headed off to work, and my mother sat on the sofa downstairs, watching TV.

Today was a reasonably busy day at work.
Project management, at its core, is like being the lubricant that keeps the wheels of a project turning smoothly.
I coordinate between departments, relay information, and address bottlenecks before they stall progress.
It’s not about being a technical specialist—it requires broad knowledge across multiple fields.
There’s a lot of responsibility, but I enjoy the sense of driving things forward. This role suits me well.

While I was working, contractors arrived to repair a basement leak and recoat the balcony.
After a brief discussion, they got started. I left the work to them and returned to my own tasks.

Around midday, the site supervisor messaged my phone.
Some parts of the repair were more complicated than expected, and he asked to continue the work tomorrow. I replied with my approval.

Heading down to the kitchen, I started preparing lunch.
My mother asked, “Are the workers still here?”
I replied, “Yeah, they are.”

For lunch, I had soba noodles with cabbage and pork, grilled koji-marinated salmon, lotus root with spicy cod roe, and a bit of leftover potato salad.
Except for the soba, everything was leftovers from the fridge.

As I skimmed the Nikkei newspaper, I came across a feature analyzing the global impact of yesterday’s U.S. attack on Iran.
If Iran were to retaliate directly against the U.S., the global order would be deeply shaken.
The Middle East continues to heat up, and the war in Ukraine shows no sign of ending.
Trump once claimed in his campaign speeches that he would end wars.
But in reality, things are heading in the opposite direction.

One article stated bluntly: this era is no longer “post-war,” but rather “pre-war.”
Experts warned that, just like in past world wars, people often think everything will be fine—until suddenly, it’s not.
We must not repeat those same mistakes.

“War”—of course, I have never experienced it myself. But if a world war were to break out, what would happen to the people around me? My neighbors dying one by one. Nights filled with fear of air raids. No reliable way to secure food for tomorrow. No stable supply of medication. If someone pointed a gun at me—what would I do?
Isn’t it a bit reckless to assume such things could never happen?
Yet, despite such worries, my daily tasks continue to sweep me along without pause.

At 5 p.m., I finished work for the day.
Letting out a deep breath, I leaned back in the recliner.
My wife usually comes home around 8, so I still had some time until dinner.
I poured myself a scotch and soda from the fridge and took a sip.

Working from home is incredibly efficient.
No commuting time.
No need to dress up—T-shirt and shorts will do.
Even when there’s construction work at home, I can manage both the job and keep an eye on my mother, who I’d rather not leave alone.

At the same time, going to the office has its advantages.
Communication with colleagues is quicker and more effective.
Getting a feel for the workplace atmosphere is key to navigating the job smoothly.
In the end, having a good balance of both environments is ideal.

I rummaged through the fridge but didn’t find many ingredients I could cook with.
Maybe bibimbap?

My wife came home, and we prepared dinner together.
We stir-fried some pork and added store-bought sauce.
We placed the grilled pork and pre-made bibimbap vegetables over rice, then topped it off with gochujang.
The miso soup was made from the clams my wife had cleaned yesterday, along with chopped green onions.

Clams are packed with iron, vitamins, taurine, and zinc—great for recovery.
Hmm, the sliced pork might have been a bit fatty, but since the rice portion was small, it made for a well-balanced, delicious meal.

Tomorrow brings another day of work.
Apologies for leaving this a bit incomplete, but I’ll end it here for today.

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