Canon's Diary
Action without thought is empty; thought without action is blind – Goethe
While living with schizophrenia, I move between Tokyo and Osaka. Through this journal, I hope to quietly share moments from my daily life—and memories from the journey I’ve taken with my illness.
Category: work
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My whole body feels stiff. Last night’s lesson was a tough one. The pain in my neck is probably from tensing up too much during my swing. My chest, abs, and thighs are sore. I didn’t sleep well either, so I stayed in bed until 8:30 in the dark room, on purpose. When I opened…
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As usual, I sat on the sofa in my living room, sipping the coffee I had brewed that morning and poured into a pot. Heavy rain had fallen the night before, but today the sky stretched out clear and blue. A slightly strong wind stirred the fresh green leaves, setting the trees swaying. That day,…
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Last Friday fell in the middle of the May holidays. I had originally planned to take a day off, but work had piled up beyond control, so I decided to go in. Even so, I was to return to Tokyo that same day, so I wrapped things up at three in the afternoon and boarded…
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Leaning back into the living room chair, I gazed absentmindedly at the white ceiling.A beige light fixture with four LED bulbs came into view. To suit different moods, two were set to a cool white, the other two to a warmer glow. Still, at night I usually rely on a separate lamp, so this light…
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Last night’s tennis session felt good. My body moved well, and my focus was sharp. The indoor court was brightly lit even at night, its blue carpet offering little in the way of irregular bounces. I made few mistakes at crucial points, and I was able to return serves with controlled counters. My emotions stayed…
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My younger sister sent me a photo from my niece’s entrance ceremony at Waseda University.My mother and I replied with our congratulations.In the picture, my niece stood between her parents, giving a small, slightly shy peace sign. Lately, I’ve been thinking about my mother, who lives alone at our family home.Almost every day, I send…
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With each passing day, the warmth deepens, and the arrival of spring makes itself felt. Yet today, of all days—a long-awaited Saturday—the light morning drizzle had turned into steady rain by noon. I hurried to bring the laundry in from the balcony. By now, the cherry blossoms should have been in full bloom. As I…
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Every week is much the same. After working full days from Monday through Friday, I am completely worn out by Friday evening, and by the time I make it home, I collapse into a kind of quiet exhaustion. Yesterday was no different. I didn’t feel like cooking, so I bought a breaded egg cutlet bento…
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It was a clear and pleasant day.With each passing day, the air had been growing warmer, though a light coat still felt necessary when stepping outside. I woke in the morning and checked my phone.Eight hours and six minutes of sleep—uninterrupted, deep, and quietly restorative. After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I took…
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In Takatsuki, Osaka, winter does not bring much snow. I hear that it almost never settles on the ground. Still, by the time February arrives, the cold sharpens, and for the past few days fine grains of snow have wrapped the city as if they were drifting through the air. I walk about fifteen minutes…
Canon's Diary 