Canon's Diary

Action without thought is empty; thought without action is blind – Goethe

While living with schizophrenia, I move between Tokyo and Osaka. Through this journal, I hope to quietly share moments from my daily life—and memories from the journey I’ve taken with my illness.

Saturday, July 12th. Towering cumulus clouds are rising in the sky.
In Osaka, the temperature reached a sweltering 36°C—a true midsummer day.
Ever since I adjusted my medication back to the previous dosage, that foggy feeling in my head has lifted.
Yesterday, work went smoothly enough. But as quitting time drew near, fatigue started to catch up with me.
I went home, had dinner, and promptly fell asleep. I didn’t even manage to write in my journal.
According to my smartwatch, I was already asleep by 9 p.m.
When I woke up this morning around 6:30, I realized I had slept for nine and a half hours.
I must have been more tired than I thought.

This morning, I went to a clinic by Takatsuki Station for my annual health check.
After drinking barium and having my stomach X-rayed, I felt pretty nauseous.
But when the doctor went over the results with me, he said everything was generally fine. That was a relief.
By then, I was also quite hungry from skipping breakfast, so I used a coupon they gave me and grabbed a sandwich at a café in the same building.

Back home, I spent some time gazing absently out the window at the cumulus clouds.
They drifted on the wind, changing shape moment by moment.
It was a truly summer sky, though the view lost some of its charm because of the scaffolding still set up on the apartment’s exterior for repairs.
With a slight feeling of confinement, I passed the time quietly in my room.

Then, breaking the silence, my phone buzzed—a LINE message from my sister.
She was over at our mother’s house in Naruse.
It seemed she had taken care of the paperwork to transfer funds from our late father’s frozen bank account into our mother’s name,
as well as handling the contact needed to change the internet contract out of his name.
It’s a real help when my sister comes by like this.
If I had to travel from Osaka to handle everything myself, it would take far too long.
All that’s left now is probably to go to the Legal Affairs Bureau to take care of the house inheritance.
Apparently, I can make an appointment online, but I was still feeling sick from the barium today, so I decided to leave that for tomorrow.

For dinner, I had curry, salad, and a bowl of miso soup.
Later tonight, I have a tennis lesson booked.
After a long workweek, the stress has really piled up, so I’m looking forward to working up a good sweat and blowing off some steam.

Even so, it strikes me how long the days have become.
It’s already past seven, and yet there’s still a faint light lingering in the sky.
As I walked past the railroad crossing, I saw a Hankyu train just beginning to turn on its headlights.
Between the gaps of distant buildings, I could still spot some of those towering summer clouds.

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