Canon's Diary

Action without thought is empty; thought without action is blind – Goethe

While living with schizophrenia, I move between Tokyo and Osaka. Through this journal, I hope to quietly share moments from my daily life—and memories from the journey I’ve taken with my illness.

It was a humid morning from the start.
When I drew the curtains, dark clouds spread across the sky, releasing a steady fall of rain. I had planned to attend a Mazda gathering on the Biwako Driveway today, but given the weather, I reluctantly canceled. For a Saturday, I had woken unusually early.

I took a bottle of carbonated water from the refrigerator and let it run down my dry, waking throat; the sharpness passed cleanly through my chest. After brushing my teeth, shaving, and washing my face, I settled into the reclining chair in the living room. Listening to the morning news, I opened my PC and checked social media.

The room was slightly chilled from having left the air conditioner on overnight. Feeling a faint chill, I opened the window, and the heavy air drifted in with the sound of rain. For a while, I closed my eyes, letting that air, its scent, and its sound settle over me.

The cool air of the room and the damp air outside slowly began to blend together.
A fresh, earthen scent rose upward.
The rain traced out layers of sound with quiet depth.
The sound of a Hankyu train, as it moved away, sharpened into a higher pitch.

After setting the washing machine and giving the room a light sweep, I had a late breakfast of milk and ham-and-lettuce toast. Then I spent some time simply relaxing indoors.

I was disappointed not to go out, of course, but I don’t dislike rainy days.
On days like this, it feels as though my own time quietly returns to me.

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